Archive for the ‘Personal Musings’ Category

I Have No Substitutes

By Danielle Keister | April 16th, 2019

So I recently had someone ask me to help them find a coach/mentor in this business who understands the difference between a VA and an Administrative Consultant.

Ummm, hellooooooo? What am I, chopped liver? Do you even know where you are?

So, let me get this straight… you don’t want to work with me because I’m “too harsh and our personalities wouldn’t mesh,” but you think asking me to find you someone else is not somehow insulting?

Mind you, this isn’t someone who has ever actually spoken with me, much less even inquired about working with me.

Look, I get it. If you want fancy, frilly writing from someone who blows smoke up everyone’s ass, I’m not your girl. But that doesn’t make me “harsh.”

And I don’t have a lot of respect for people who use that word. Especially when it’s directed at a woman, as well as when it comes from one woman to another.

Because “harsh” is used as a sword against women for not fitting the mold, for not conforming to what society tells women they need to be and how they should speak and behave: to be “nice” and “get along.”

(Translation: Appease others at all costs, stuff your own feelings and needs, and whatever you do, don’t say what you really mean because god forbid you as a woman should speak clearly and directly with conviction and a point of view lest you make anyone uncomfortable).

Are your feelings hurt merely because I’m direct and use straight-forward sentences and don’t beat around the bush?

Are there not enough happy faces and cute unicorn emojis for you?

Or do you just feel abashed because I called out the rudeness of your request so you want to now deflect it onto me.

Yeah, I don’t have time for that BS.

How about this? Be a grown-up and own your own shit. Stop expecting others to dull their intellect or competence because you feel insecure.

What’s actually going on is you are afraid.

I would never throw that fear in your face if we were working together. That’s not what I’m about. (I’m about helping people overcome their fears with a combination of straight talk and tough love and giving them the knowledge and tools to be more confident and successful in their business.)

But when you try to blame me for your personal issues and level the word “harsh” against me, that’s your problem, not mine.

And here’s a little advice on good manners: If you don’t like someone, don’t follow them.

Get off their page, get off their mailing list, and get lost. Stop resenting them on one hand while consuming everything they offer on the other.

And what you especially don’t do is ask them to help you find a substitute (like, “I don’t like you so much, but I’ll suck up all your free stuff and, oh, hey, can you also refer me to someone else who knows as much as you… for free, of course”).

Gawd, does this really even need to be said? Just f**k off already.

Is that too harsh? 😉

The bottom line is, I think most people (the people who matter) are smart enough to understand that I can be both strong and assertive in my writing generally while still able to take a firm, but gentle approach in guiding people with whom I may work personally.

And I’ll tell you one more thing: You won’t find another person out there with more integrity than me. Because people with actual integrity speak truth and will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear, to succeed.

Others will say anything and pretend to be whatever they need to in order to get your money. There are a lot of hacks out there like that, and you can have them if that’s what you want. But it won’t be me referring you to them.

I have no substitute. I originated my teaching on this industry and there isn’t anyone else qualified with my level of knowledge and expertise to be teaching it.

So, if you want to learn about Administrative Consulting, you’ll have to get it from me. Otherwise, you’re on your own.

Welp, It’s 2019, People…

By Danielle Keister | January 1st, 2019

10 Comments

In the countdown to the Seattle Space Needle midnight fireworks, I spent NYE Lime-Biking for miles, dancing ’round a beach bonfire, and whipping up JetBoiled hot chocolates and beef stroganoff (a la Mountain House freeze-dried, lol) out of the tailgate.

That might sound all happy-go-lucky—and it was fun—but I am not sorry to see 2018 go in the least.

Not gonna lie. It’s been a really sucky, unproductive year with all my best-laid plans stymied and thwarted at every turn.

Caring for my dad really caught up with me the past year.

Then dealing with a horrible landlord became untenable and I needed to move.

Then I got sidetracked for nearly three months getting my dad’s house and property back in shape.

And then the holiday season hit and I gave up trying to get anything done in my own life and business. I just could not maintain any of the necessary momentum and concentration.

I fully recognize that there are others with a far more difficult path and that my dad’s diseases (Parkinson’s and dementia) are not going to get any easier so I had better brace myself for the road ahead.

Still, it’s been rough because pretty much all the hard, time-consuming stuff fell squarely on my shoulders alone.

I have had no one to help me, and it has cost me a lot in both my personal life and business.

Not boo-hooing (well, maybe a little). Rather, I am in awe of myself and how I have risen to meet every challenge.

That’s not to say it’s been a piece of cake. Far from it!

But I wrangled every single obstacle with aplomb, and I am damn proud of myself.

Yes, the last 4-5 years have kicked my ass, but I keep standing back up.

I found my dad an absolutely fantastic adult care situation and got him moved in there in November.

That worry and upheaval has been a huge block and mental drain.

I am so thankful that, at least, has been take care of, and I rest easy knowing I have given (and continue to give) my all in making my dad’s life better and easier and that he has the best medical and assisted care possible.

The focus moving forward for this year is on reclaiming my life and shedding things that no longer serve me.

As they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup, and I am in desperate need of some serious self-care right now.

Going into my 22nd year of business, I still love serving my administrative support clients as that work still excites and challenges me every day.

I’ll also continue working one-on-one with a few select mentoring clients as working with determined colleagues who are driven to up their business game continues to be very gratifying.

I am ready for a new beginning big time. Here’s to a better year ahead for us all!

Who Said Positive Change Would Necessarily Be Quick and Easy?

By Danielle Keister | August 15th, 2018

5 Comments

Hello, peeps!

No, I haven’t fallen off the planet, lol.

I’m still dealing with the transition of moving into my dad’s house temporarily and getting things sorted and running again. Plus, I had to move during a heatwave. Thank gawd that is over! But there is soooo much work to do. Oy.

I’ve been here since August 1. My plan is to spend the next 3-5 months getting it cleaned up and put back in order in the hope that there might be some possibility at some point that he could return home and spend his remaining years in his own house with live-in care.

If you are new here, my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s about 10 years ago and Lewy Body dementia about four years ago. His health and ability to care for himself and his house took a nosedive in 2014, and he is currently living in an adult care home.

My lease was up at the end of July, and I was seriously in need of some change in my life. It all worked out perfectly for me to not only do this for my dad, but also take my time in finding my next ideal home. I’m currently checking out houseboats (I might even have a custom one built!) and will be doing a little roadtripping in the meantime.

As I get settled in, I am reflecting on the idea that change — even if it’s a positive change — is often painful.

I am someone who tends to zap tolerations very quickly.

I am all about ease, and whenever and wherever I can make things easy (or at least easier) for myself, for my clients, for others, that is exactly what I do.

I front-load work and get the hard stuff out of the way first because it makes things simpler, faster, smoother and/or less difficult/problematic down the road.

And because I am normally really good at making things easy, I sometimes have to be reminded that not every positive change can be made as easily or quickly as I would prefer. There is going to be some “creative destruction” that can be messy and take longer than I would like.

This moving/dislocation process has been a bit traumatic. While being a very positive step towards some much-needed change in my own life, it’s not easy.

I don’t like being in transition, even though I am moving step by step toward a more ideal situation in my life.

My routines are all disrupted and I feel out of sorts. I don’t like the feeling of being in a “temporary” state. I like being settled and everything in their place.

Going through this made me think of a colleague I’ve been chatting with who also started making steps toward some positive change in her business she was desperately ready for and in need of.

Two thirds of her clients took the new standards she was implementing in her business in stride (this is very common, many colleagues are surprised to find).

One is highly resistant and being difficult about it (also very common, and also indicative of a relationship that might need to be severed in order to make way for a more ideal client to fill that spot on her roster).

The reminder is this:

Positive change can be messy and take time. We might lose some things along the way. But the alternative is inertia and living in a rut. And that’s definitely not ideal.

So have faith that even though the process might be tough, might be daunting, might be painful, it is so well worth taking those steps in a more positive direction so that you can love your life, your business, and your clients.

(PS: Wondering what a standing toilet paper holder has to do with this post? It’s an example of zapping tolerations. The bathroom off my dad’s master bedroom is a full bath, but it’s v-e-r-y small, and the toilet paper holder in the wall next to the toilet is extremely awkward to get to. It’s really annoying to wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and have to twist yourself into a pretzel reaching backward and blindly feel around for the toilet paper. Oh, no, this is not a nagging annoyance that should be tolerated for one minute! Barring hiring a contractor to fix the problem, I discovered free-standing toilet paper holders in the meantime. Life-changing, lol! At least that one was a quick and easy fix even if other positive changes aren’t.)

Are you looking to make some positive changes in your life and/or business? What kind of obstacles (mental or otherwise) are keeping you from taking action?

I could sure use some conversation with colleagues. Leave me a comment and we can explore and brainstorm! 🙂

The Real Skinny on Being a Digital Nomad

By Danielle Keister | June 8th, 2018

2 Comments

This is a REALLY good article on the “digital nomad” BS, that (once again) internet marketers are trying to cash in on in recent years on by preying on the fantasies of those living in La La Land.

And I say that as someone who is about to embark on some roadtripping where I will be a semi digital nomad, and also as someone who lived in Europe while continuing to run my business.

That shit was hard!

That is, since ours is an online business, it was relatively easy technologically, but difficult from a mental, logistical, and practical standpoint.

I work MUCH better running things from my home office in the U.S. where my regular set-up and all my stuff is located and I have a regular routine and things-in-place.

I wouldn’t trade the experience of living and working in Europe for the world, but I also wouldn’t advise anyone that it’s a good idea to try to escape your life under the misguided thinking that it’s going to solve whatever you are running from.

Let me tell you, it is not all it’s cracked up to be (no matter what kind of rainbows and puppy dog tail pictures the internet marketers try to paint).

Yes, there are lots of unique experiences you can have (maybe… depending on how intrepid you are).

But it can be very difficult trying to do ACTUAL WORK FOR REAL, ACTUAL CLIENTS on the road.

A lot of the work I see many of these so-called digital nomads doing is fluff (mixed with a lot of BS).

The article has what I consider to be a very realistic, no-nonsense list of what is needed for those who might be considering the “digital nomad” life (I even detest the term; so stupid).

I’m going to venture to say that most of us fare better in our lives and businesses when we have a home-base.

I will even say that for most people, you will have more chance of success in your business if you aren’t trying to start and grow it while being essentially home-less and without the structure and stability of a steady home-base.

And you don’t have to be a “digital nomad” to travel and have life experiences.

What might be better is to build a financially solvent and successful business with smart policies, procedures, and systems in place so that you CAN pick up and travel when the urge strikes you.

Ask any traveling business or salesperson. Living out of a suitcase and hotel room (no matter how adorable that AirBnB may be) gets real old and real inconvenient fairly quickly.

Instead, think about having the best of both worlds by setting up your business smartly and profitably so that you can live and travel when and where you fancy while always having a home and community to come back to.

Have you ever thought about living and working on the road? What would be the pros and cons for you?

Honoring Those Who Serve and Sacrifice

By Danielle Keister | May 28th, 2018

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Every moment we have on this earth is a good one to celebrate life and appreciate our blessings.

Memorial Day seems to signal the unofficial start of summer season, a time for firing up the grill and getting together with family and friends.

For others, it’s a somber reminder of their painful loss of a loved one.

I have a friend who lost her son in February, a veteran and dedicated military man of many years. This year’s holiday is a tough one and very personal for her, and I wanted to share her poignant words:

“This Memorial Day weekend as we enjoy some rare Washington sunshine, food, and family, I want to take a moment to remember and honor all those who have given their lives to our country. Also, please take a moment to honor those who made it home, but for whom the war never stopped. My son was one of those soldiers. He came home with traumatic brain injury, severe PTSD, and back injuries. He left this world in February after struggling so hard. In my heart, he gave his life to his country. We were lucky to have him a little bit longer.”

I hope you will join me, during our downtime and get-togethers today, in taking a moment to reflect on the meaning of this holiday and sincerely thank our service men and women, here and gone, and their families, for their sacrifices.

Blessings to you and yours.

Take a Moment for New Year Reflection

By Danielle Keister | December 31st, 2017

1 Comment

At this time of year, I like to go somewhere beautiful and quiet in nature, preferably all to myself, where I can just set and be with my thoughts and do some reflecting.

My daughter got a new ultra fuel-efficient car this year and to celebrate, she and a couple of her friends went on a 9-day road trip down the coast, then to Las Vegas for a Halloween party and back. They had put together a fantastic itinerary for the entire journey which included a rustic retreat in South Lake Tahoe, spa pampering, dressing up as the three witches in Hocus Pocus and attending a big Halloween bash, hikes, and sight-seeing.

Last year in January, my daughter and I had done some fun life-mapping diagrams which involve reflecting on your ideal life, what you would like to do/have/be, how you will achieve those things and what activities, actions and choices to involve yourself in to reach those aims.

So before she left, I suggested to her that at some point as part of their hiking plans, they might want to take a moment to be still and quiet with their thoughts and dreams and do some journaling about those things to set the intentions.

When she got back, she told me they did exactly that and what a fantastic exercise it turned out to be for everyone. They hiked to the top of a beautiful vista and then separated from each other to achieve a bit of solitude so they could each think and write.

I’ll be carving out some time myself to do a bit of this. Here are some questions to get the ball rolling if you’d like to do some reflection and productive planning for your new year as well…

In reflecting on the past year (or two), what what went well/right? What gave you joy in your work and your life? What would get in the way of doing more of those things? What do you need to do to remove obstacles to that?
Who was a delight to work with? What about them made them delightful? How will you make room to work with more of those people?
What fears did you face this past year? Did you do some things that made you uncomfortable this year, that were outside your normal comfort levels? Oh, and you still alive and well and reading this? 😉 And what fears do you want to conquer this year?
What risks did you take this past year? What were the outcomes? Do you have a different attitude toward taking risks now? Even if it still may always feel scary, do you think you are likely to be bolder and more confident in taking a risk, despite any fears, in the future?
Did you encounter some scenarios where you were brave? What were they? Reflect on those. Did you properly acknowledge your bravery and congratulate yourself? Do you feel pride? Do you feel stronger? Are there other situations where you will feel stronger and more confident in next time around?
List at least one or two new things you want to try.
What do you want to do differently in this new year?
What do you want to stop doing because it taxes your energy? What tolerations do you need to zap?
What clients do you need to let go of to pave the way for more ideal ones?
What policies and practices do you need to examine, reconfigure and improve?
What are your money goals for 2018? Is it time to raise your fees? Who do you need to work with to meet those goals? How do you need to be working with them? Do you need to rethink your service offerings and how they are structured? Do you need to let go of some services so that you can focus on providing more excellence and value in the ones that make you more money? How can you be more profitable moving forward?
Did you experience any difficult or painful lessons this year? How/why did they happen/come about? What did you learn from them? What will you do differently in the future? Have you implemented/instituted changes to any of your policies/procedures/protocols and/or any other way you go about things as a result?
Even when it’s not what we want to hear when we haven’t been able to do or give our best, embracing constructive feedback from our clients is a gift. It may not always be delivered constructively and can make us wince, but when we face it head on, it can be a tremendous boon to our growth. What feedback did you receive this past year that may have been too painful to hear in the moment, but which could possible hold some kernels of truth and helpfulness in making improvements?
What do you need more of to generate more happiness, joy, satisfaction, contentment in your life and business? Likewise, what do you need to let go of to have more happiness, joy, satisfaction and contentment?

And always remember, fresh starts aren’t limited to the new year. Each new day is an opportunity to do-over.

I’d love to hear what you’d like to conquer in 2018 if you care to share.

Happy 2018!

2017 Holiday Greetings!

By Danielle Keister | December 25th, 2017

6 Comments

Wishing you and yours a very merry Christmas and the happiest of holidays! With love, from Danielle Keister and the Administrative Consultants Association

Are You Celebrating Your Victories?

By Danielle Keister | December 7th, 2017

2 Comments

As we near the end of 2017, have you been reflecting on your year and the things you wanted to accomplish?

Were you able to reach certain goals, projects and mileposts you set for yourself this year?

Remember, they don’t have to be gigantic.

Sometimes the most important milestones are seemingly “small,” but that doesn’t make them any less significant!

Each and every step you take in working toward something is an achievement. Even those hiccups and setbacks we all encounter along the way provide us with invaluable learning that helps us grow.

Success (as in moving in the direction you want to go, accomplishing that which you want to accomplish) is made up of hundreds of actions, stepping stones, learning, and small victories every single day.

Celebrate them! Use them as forward momentum! Give yourself credit! You are DOING it!

What are you most proud of accomplishing this year?

It’s a Traditional Thanksgiving this Year for My Family

By Danielle Keister | November 21st, 2017

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Welp, it’s Turkey Day, otherwise known as Thanksgiving, this Thursday for those of us in the U.S. The big turkey debate in our family has finally been settled (smoked or traditional). This year anyway…

Personally, I’m not that excited about turkey. I wanted a Thanksgiving salmon, but that got shot down immediately. I’m just thankful we don’t have any vegans or all hell would break loose, lol.
(I remember now why I don’t host this holiday more often at my house.)

Just kidding. It’s going to be terrific fun! I don’t know how many more holidays we’ll have with my dad so we’re going all out with the traditional stuff which is what he loves, and he’s really looking forward to it.

I did make sure, though, to get myself a growler of my favorite locally-brewed beer, just in case, lol. And we’ll be playing Cards Against Humanity after dinner which is always a hoot.

Today, I did a dry run of my table setting (that’s it in the photo). I’m not a fan of the usual orange and gold fall color theme. I went with rich jewel tones instead: purple and plum, shiny copper, avocado green diamond-cut crystal, smokey blue glass.

I’ve got chafing dishes set up on the buffet so we can keep the serving bowls on the table to a minimum and keep things warmed at the same time. I also figured out the perfect use for all the bright-colored little pompoms I love to make: glass tags! I tied a different color on each glass so everyone knows which one is theirs.

In all honesty, other than being the hostess with the mostest, I don’t have to do a whole lot this year except make the mashed potatoes and eat. Ha! My daughter’s boyfriend is making the turkey (he’s a fantastic cook) and everyone else is bringing the rest of the trimmings, sides and desserts. Cheers to that!

I wish you and your family a lovely and yummy day filled with tons of love and laughs. And I want to thank you so much for being a part of the Administrative Consultants Association and allowing me to play some positive role in your business journey. I hope I’ve been helpful to you.

If you are using the holiday down-time to put some focused attention on your business skills and foundations, please enjoy this discount code for 10% off anything in the ACA Success Store: THANKS10

And if you already have a few pieces and would like to upgrade to The Full Shebang (Set-03), shoot me an email and I’ll send you a credit code in the amount of all your past product purchases so you can deduct that amount from your purchase. (You can even apply the THANKS10 code on top of it.)

Please note: Codes expire Nov. 26 so you’ll just want to be sure to use them by then.

If you are celebrating, have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

If You Do Nothing Else, These Are Words to Live By

By Danielle Keister | November 15th, 2017

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I was reading Brit Marling’s article about Harvey Weinstein yesterday morning. In the first paragraph, she relates some powerful wisdom her mother imparted to her when she was a little girl:

“To be a free woman, you have to be a financially independent woman.”

It’s akin to something Suze Orman always reminds women of: “A man is not a financial plan.”

This is one of the most important reasons I work to help other women in this business earn better, to better understand the economics of business and how the business-to-business relationship with clients works, and teach them the important business skills that are integral to being able to ask for and get professional fees and how to navigate those business conversations: the consultation, pricing, your marketing message, chief among them.

Even if you are not your family’s primary breadwinner, life can change in an instant.

Divorce, illness, death, accidents, acts of nature… there are any number of unforeseeable events that can befall any of us at any moment and put us in the position of having to be the sole provider. Being a single mom is perhaps one of the most important reasons.

This is why my goal is to always show other women how to build a business that can take care of itself, to show them how to create the kind of income they can actually live on whether they are or need to be or should become the primary breadwinner; to establish a business that runs like a business and can scale at any point in time, even if right now you only want to work with one or two clients.

Being financially independent and creating a business that can take care of you and your family if need be is one of the best things you can do for yourself and those you love.