Archive for December, 2017

Take a Moment for New Year Reflection

Take a Moment for New Year Reflection

At this time of year, I like to go somewhere beautiful and quiet in nature, preferably all to myself, where I can just set and be with my thoughts and do some reflecting.

My daughter got a new ultra fuel-efficient car this year and to celebrate, she and a couple of her friends went on a 9-day road trip down the coast, then to Las Vegas for a Halloween party and back. They had put together a fantastic itinerary for the entire journey which included a rustic retreat in South Lake Tahoe, spa pampering, dressing up as the three witches in Hocus Pocus and attending a big Halloween bash, hikes, and sight-seeing.

Last year in January, my daughter and I had done some fun life-mapping diagrams which involve reflecting on your ideal life, what you would like to do/have/be, how you will achieve those things and what activities, actions and choices to involve yourself in to reach those aims.

So before she left, I suggested to her that at some point as part of their hiking plans, they might want to take a moment to be still and quiet with their thoughts and dreams and do some journaling about those things to set the intentions.

When she got back, she told me they did exactly that and what a fantastic exercise it turned out to be for everyone. They hiked to the top of a beautiful vista and then separated from each other to achieve a bit of solitude so they could each think and write.

I’ll be carving out some time myself to do a bit of this. Here are some questions to get the ball rolling if you’d like to do some reflection and productive planning for your new year as well…

  • In reflecting on the past year (or two), what what went well/right? What gave you joy in your work and your life? What would get in the way of doing more of those things? What do you need to do to remove obstacles to that?
  • Who was a delight to work with? What about them made them delightful? How will you make room to work with more of those people?
  • What fears did you face this past year? Did you do some things that made you uncomfortable this year, that were outside your normal comfort levels? Oh, and you still alive and well and reading this? 😉 And what fears do you want to conquer this year?
  • What risks did you take this past year? What were the outcomes? Do you have a different attitude toward taking risks now? Even if it still may always feel scary, do you think you are likely to be bolder and more confident in taking a risk, despite any fears, in the future?
  • Did you encounter some scenarios where you were brave? What were they? Reflect on those. Did you properly acknowledge your bravery and congratulate yourself? Do you feel pride? Do you feel stronger? Are there other situations where you will feel stronger and more confident in next time around?
  • List at least one or two new things you want to try.
  • What do you want to do differently in this new year?
  • What do you want to stop doing because it taxes your energy? What tolerations do you need to zap?
  • What clients do you need to let go of to pave the way for more ideal ones?
  • What policies and practices do you need to examine, reconfigure and improve?
  • What are your money goals for 2018? Is it time to raise your fees? Who do you need to work with to meet those goals? How do you need to be working with them? Do you need to rethink your service offerings and how they are structured? Do you need to let go of some services so that you can focus on providing more excellence and value in the ones that make you more money? How can you be more profitable moving forward?
  • Did you experience any difficult or painful lessons this year? How/why did they happen/come about? What did you learn from them? What will you do differently in the future? Have you implemented/instituted changes to any of your policies/procedures/protocols and/or any other way you go about things as a result?
  • Even when it’s not what we want to hear when we haven’t been able to do or give our best, embracing constructive feedback from our clients is a gift. It may not always be delivered constructively and can make us wince, but when we face it head on, it can be a tremendous boon to our growth. What feedback did you receive this past year that may have been too painful to hear in the moment, but which could possible hold some kernels of truth and helpfulness in making improvements?
  • What do you need more of to generate more happiness, joy, satisfaction, contentment in your life and business? Likewise, what do you need to let go of to have more happiness, joy, satisfaction and contentment?

And always remember, fresh starts aren’t limited to the new year. Each new day is an opportunity to do-over.

I’d love to hear what you’d like to conquer in 2018 if you care to share.

Happy 2018!

Are You Building a Burnout-Proof Business?

Are You Building a Burnout-Proof Business?

Good article from Zapier today: 10 Signs that You’re Headed for Burnout

This is why it’s so important to build a business around YOUR needs first, not clients.

Figure that out, formalize it, write it down, and say it out loud. Then, choose only clients, work, and business practices that align with those standards, intentions and values.

When all you do is chase after any clients without discernment, working just for the money, instead of instituting policies, procedures and protocols around the standards and values you want for yourself and your business, and you continue to work with less than ideal clients, that is a fast path to stress, overwhelm, then burnout and exhaustion.

And don’t misunderstand me. I’m not talking about making clients second-fiddle. Far from it.

It’s actually about the fact that by putting yourself first and building a business that serves YOU and your needs first, you are actually FAR better equipped to a) get better clients, and b) take exceptionally good care of those clients.

A business that doesn’t make you happy ultimately does no one any good, not you and not the clients.

Are You Celebrating Your Victories?

As we near the end of 2017, have you been reflecting on your year and the things you wanted to accomplish?

Were you able to reach certain goals, projects and mileposts you set for yourself this year?

Remember, they don’t have to be gigantic.

Sometimes the most important milestones are seemingly “small,” but that doesn’t make them any less significant!

Each and every step you take in working toward something is an achievement. Even those hiccups and setbacks we all encounter along the way provide us with invaluable learning that helps us grow.

Success (as in moving in the direction you want to go, accomplishing that which you want to accomplish) is made up of hundreds of actions, stepping stones, learning, and small victories every single day.

Celebrate them! Use them as forward momentum! Give yourself credit! You are DOING it!

What are you most proud of accomplishing this year?

Do Your Family and Friends Respect Your Business?

Do you ever have trouble getting family and friends to respect your business?

I know I still do sometimes, even after doing this for over 20 years.

I don’t know that it will ever change when it comes to certain people we have to deal with in our lives.

Here’s an example of what I mean…

So one of the reasons I went into business for myself is to have more control over my own life. To have more say about how I spend my time (and on whom), to get more joy and fulfillment out of the work I do and the gratification it brings seeing how it helps my clients in very immediate and impactful ways.

Most of all, I wanted to be able to be present in my own life, to be able to be there for those I love.

My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s about 10 years ago. In 2014, his health took a severe nosedive and he ended up in the ER and then assisted living for a year.

My sister lives in the same city as my dad, but doesn’t drive and works a 9-5 job.

I live about an hour away, but since I am the only one who drives, I’m the one who had to pick everyone up and shuttle them around back and forth.

Since that time, because I’m the only one who drives and because I have a business working for myself and have the flexibility, I’m the one who has scheduled all my dad’s various appointments and run him around to all of them: primary care, neurologist, weekly B12 shots, eye appointments, hearing appointments, cognitive testing, blood draws, etc.

I take him to get his hair cut, his toe nails taken care of (he needs a special appointment for this), runs to the grocery store, the pharmacy, and a multitude of other errands.

I also make sure his house stays clean (especially his bathroom) and check the fridge to make sure anything old and expired is thrown out since my sister, who actually lives mere blocks from him, fails to do any of this no matter how many times I ask.

I’m happy to do it; there also isn’t anyone else to do it so it falls on my shoulders. Someone has to take care of him, right?

While I’m grateful to be able to do it, at the same time, it’s no easy task. It eats up a shit ton of time and energy.

Plus, it’s not all happy, happy, joy, joy. My relationship with my dad has been difficult and strained my whole life.

And doing all of this, making the time to do it, has had negative effects on my business, cost me a lot in very real financial ways, and caused me to lose a whole lot of momentum.

Having to take my dad to what may only be a half-hour appointment ends up eating a whole day of my time and energy and actual work hours.

It disrupts my entire life and business. I’m completely spent and it sometimes takes me a day or two to recuperate and get back into the swing of things.

Yes, I am very fortunate I have the freedom and flexibility to be able to do this for my dad. My dad and my sister are very lucky that I’m in the position I am to be able to do it because if I didn’t, there’s no one else to fall back on.

Still, it really sucks that they take it for granted and don’t consider just how much of a toll it takes on my life and my livelihood.

If my sister had to do this while trying to hold down a job, she’d end up in the loony bin, not to mention fired.

But she’s so cavalier about my time and doesn’t seem to grasp the fact that, um, hey, I work for a living, too!

It’s so easy for people to look at your life and think all you’re doing is sitting around at home playing on the computer.

They don’t see that you are doing real work, important work, for real people who are depending on you in very real and important ways.

Your clients have invested their time and money and faith in you, and you have the privilege and duty to not let them down and manage your obligations to them.

So what’s the solution?

Maybe we need to set more boundaries and make sure the people in our lives honor those boundaries.

Maybe we need to be more respectful of own boundaries and not step over them and make concessions all the time.

Because it’s a slippery slope when we do that, and next thing you know, you have no boundaries at all.

Maybe we need to say “no” more often.

It’s honorable to want to help and to be able to make sacrifices when it’s important and necessary to do so. But we can’t neglect our own self-care.

When you say “yes” too often, people tend to take it for granted.

Don’t let them off the hook so easy. Make them shoulder more of the load.

It may not be easy to say “no,” but I think we are all worthy of looking out for our own health and best interests as much as we look out and care for others in our lives.

Maybe we need to dress our businesses up in more formal, tangible, traditional ways.

Have that professional website up. Have those professionally printed business cards. Establish professional hours. Lay down the law with your family and friends so that they know when you’re working in your business, you are AT WORK.

If this is one of the problems you have, don’t let them just drop in and gab any ol’ time they please. Make appointments. If someone drops in unannounced, politely but assertively turn them away. Let them know what your office hours are and that they need to call or email first to make sure if or when you are free (that’s just basic good manners anyway; their lack of consideration is one thing; you accepting it is another).

Dedicate a room in your home for your office. If you don’t have a room, then a space. And make sure everyone knows that that space is sacred and off limits.

If you live with others, perhaps putting on “work” clothes and getting out of the bathrobe once in awhile (lol) will help them see that you take your business as serious as they take their job.

While we sometimes need to have a straight talk with a client now and then about boundaries (and a lot of times, it’s we ourselves who teach them bad habits in the first place), I think a lot of times it’s our family and friends who are the worst at respecting our businesses and boundaries.

Have you experienced this in some way yourself? What are some of the ways you have dealt with it?