Archive for the ‘A Little Kick in the Butt’ Category

I Have No Substitutes

I Have No Substitutes

So I recently had someone ask me to help them find a coach/mentor in this business who understands the difference between a VA and an Administrative Consultant.

Ummm, hellooooooo? What am I, chopped liver? Do you even know where you are?

So, let me get this straight… you don’t want to work with me because I’m “too harsh and our personalities wouldn’t mesh,” but you think asking me to find you someone else is not somehow insulting?

Mind you, this isn’t someone who has ever actually spoken with me, much less even inquired about working with me.

Look, I get it. If you want fancy, frilly writing from someone who blows smoke up everyone’s ass, I’m not your girl. But that doesn’t make me “harsh.”

And I don’t have a lot of respect for people who use that word. Especially when it’s directed at a woman, as well as when it comes from one woman to another.

Because “harsh” is used as a sword against women for not fitting the mold, for not conforming to what society tells women they need to be and how they should speak and behave: to be “nice” and “get along.”

(Translation: Appease others at all costs, stuff your own feelings and needs, and whatever you do, don’t say what you really mean because god forbid you as a woman should speak clearly and directly with conviction and a point of view lest you make anyone uncomfortable).

Are your feelings hurt merely because I’m direct and use straight-forward sentences and don’t beat around the bush?

Are there not enough happy faces and cute unicorn emojis for you?

Or do you just feel abashed because I called out the rudeness of your request so you want to now deflect it onto me.

Yeah, I don’t have time for that BS.

How about this? Be a grown-up and own your own shit. Stop expecting others to dull their intellect or competence because you feel insecure.

What’s actually going on is you are afraid.

I would never throw that fear in your face if we were working together. That’s not what I’m about. (I’m about helping people overcome their fears with a combination of straight talk and tough love and giving them the knowledge and tools to be more confident and successful in their business.)

But when you try to blame me for your personal issues and level the word “harsh” against me, that’s your problem, not mine.

And here’s a little advice on good manners: If you don’t like someone, don’t follow them.

Get off their page, get off their mailing list, and get lost. Stop resenting them on one hand while consuming everything they offer on the other.

And what you especially don’t do is ask them to help you find a substitute (like, “I don’t like you so much, but I’ll suck up all your free stuff and, oh, hey, can you also refer me to someone else who knows as much as you… for free, of course”).

Gawd, does this really even need to be said? Just f**k off already.

Is that too harsh? 😉

The bottom line is, I think most people (the people who matter) are smart enough to understand that I can be both strong and assertive in my writing generally while still able to take a firm, but gentle approach in guiding people with whom I may work personally.

And I’ll tell you one more thing: You won’t find another person out there with more integrity than me. Because people with actual integrity speak truth and will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear, to succeed.

Others will say anything and pretend to be whatever they need to in order to get your money. There are a lot of hacks out there like that, and you can have them if that’s what you want. But it won’t be me referring you to them.

I have no substitute. I originated my teaching on this industry and there isn’t anyone else qualified with my level of knowledge and expertise to be teaching it.

So, if you want to learn about Administrative Consulting, you’ll have to get it from me. Otherwise, you’re on your own.

Here Is What Constitutes a Bad Client

Here Is What Constitutes a Bad Client

This year, I’ve been focused on removing anything in my life that is a PIA, that rubs the wrong way, that no longer serves my interests. My self-care demands it.

After caring for a sick parent, I have zero time and energy for any kind of BS. It’s always a good time for you to be thinking about this, too.

Identifying and weeding out bad clients is an exercise in self-care and making your business sustainable and profitable.

For a while now, I’ve been observing the results of someone working with what I would deem a bad client.

The situation has gone from bad, to very bad, to really, REALLY bad.

For the life of me, I have never understood what they see in this client, what could possibly be worth all the hair-pulling problems and extra work, annoyance, and difficulty this bad client causes.

Now the chickens are coming home to roost, and it emphasizes the cold hard truths I and others have always expounded on when it comes to taking on un-ideal clients: DON’T DO IT!

  1. You may see the prospect of big financial returns, but I guarantee you, it is nearly never worth all the time, trouble, and energy it costs you in the end (and that’s IF you ever do see the kind of money you thought they represented).
  2. Bad clients are FAR more work than they are ever worth.
  3. Bad clients like to make grandiose claims and big promises that almost never come to fruition.
  4. IF they do hit it big (that’s a big IF), bad clients easily/conveniently forget the promises they made to you when they needed your help.
  5. Bad clients are hopelessly, endlessly disorganized. They resist and make difficult any and all attempts by you to create some semblance of order, making it next to impossible to work with them.
  6. Bad clients live in a constant state of chaos, and their chaos becomes your chaos.
  7. Bad clients like to keep everything in their head. They don’t listen when you remind them that they are no longer working alone and thus, there simply MUST be systems put in place for working together.
  8. Bad clients are always late. They do everything at the very last minute, leaving you little to no time to do a proper/thorough job. They expect you to then drop everything and deal with the consequences.
  9. Bad clients create 10 more problems for every one that you solve. Instead of getting more efficient and organized, they only get worse. They make everything more difficult than it has to be.
  10. Bad clients are arrogant. They always think they are smarter and know more than everyone else. They brush off your advice, recommendations, and suggestions (even when they have solicited you for them!). When they do take a suggestion you have offered, they act like they thought of it themselves.
  11. Bad clients are constantly cutting corners and playing stupid games, thinking they can outwit the law, the system, the “man.” This nearly always ends in disaster and only causes more work and headaches for everyone involved. (TIP: It is FAR more work and difficulty trying to cut corners and game things than it is to simply do things correctly, honestly, in the first place. As Judge Marilyn Milan says, “The cheap comes out expensive.)
  12. Bad clients are sloppy and pig-headed. They will cut their nose to spite their face, spend $10 to save a penny. They’re always trying to take shortcuts and think properly dotting their i’s and crossing their t’s is for sissies. This creates a house of cards that ends up biting them in the ass one way or another. There is a reason there are commonly accepted standards of business practice. Anyone who shrugs them off as unimportant is a huckster, not a proper businessperson.
  13. Bad clients are petty and selfish. They withhold praise, rarely express appreciation, and are always devaluing others and looking to take advantage whenever possible. They want ALL the credit and will steal it even when it’s not theirs to be taken or given. The only person they value and think about is themselves.
  14. Bad clients are greedy. They think the ends always justify the means. Ethics and integrity are afterthoughts (if they are considered at all). It’s one harebrained, questionable scheme after another with them.
  15. The problems that bad clients cause spill over into your other client relationships.
  16. Bad clients cause your work quality to suffer all the way around. They are so needy and demanding and their work, in turn, so arduous and time-consuming, it unfairly deprives your other, more ideal (and easier to work with) clients from your equal time, attention and best efforts.
  17. Bad clients want everything for nothing. They will gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today (and tomorrow never comes soon). You can’t pay your bills with IOUs.
  18. Bad clients think everything they do is worth millions and everything you do is worth pennies. That is to say, they devalue, demoralize, and degrade (in turn, eroding your confidence) and don’t appreciate all that you do for them.
  19. Bad clients constantly pay late, if at all. They’re always making excuses and trying to string you along. (Of course, you have some culpability here. It’s up to you to put your foot down the first time this happens and to fire the ass of anyone who continues to disrespect you in this way.)
  20. Bad clients ruin all the good work you have done for them on their behalf. For every gain you make, they do something that causes twenty steps back.
  21. Their poor integrity can besmirch YOUR reputation and integrity. God forbid you should rely on them for referrals; you’ll just get more of the same type of bad client.
  22. Bad clients never take responsibility for their poor habits and practices and are the first to blame YOU for the problems they caused/brought on themselves.
  23. Bad clients are also the first to report you to the BBB or the bar or whatever governing/overseeing agencies you are accountable to. They are incapable of taking responsibility for the problems and conditions they themselves create.
  24. Bad clients cannot be saved from themselves and will bring you down with them. Bad clients who don’t run their businesses properly or ethically can be and often are sued. And guess who can get dragged into that mess whether they like it or not? Yeah, you and everyone else who has worked with them.
  25. Bad clients are the quickest path to poor health, stress, overwhelm, and burnout.

Never take on any client just for the money. I can’t emphasize this enough!

There must be a fit. You have to genuinely like them and what they do (and vice versa).

They must be honest and ethical and do things in a way you can respect.

They must treat you with dignity, honor, and respect.

And they have to be willing to let you do what you do without making it more difficult. If not, you have nothing to discuss and there can be no relationship.

Bottom line: Be a client snob. Don’t accept anyone and everyone who comes along. Be choosy and selective about who you work with and have a process in place for vetting clients. You’ll be happier and richer for it.

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

Just Because You Can Doesn't Mean You Should

Just because you can do everything doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

People who are new in business don’t tend to understand this at first. They are too eager and excited to get those first paying clients.

But once you have more than one client, you begin to get an inkling of this truth: you don’t want to bog yourself down doing too much stuff and trying to do every. single. thing. for clients.

You’re going to come up against a wall of overwhelm real quick if you don’t get clear and focused about what you do (and what you don’t) in your business.

Keeping your focus on who you cater your support to and what you do for them is key.

I see a lot of people in our industry really enamored with the idea of doing anything and everything.

It’s an idea they are hit over the head with when they first enter the industry at large, almost as if there is something virtuous about it.

NOTE: It’s not virtuous; it’s misguided. In fact, I am here to tell you it is keeping you from providing a superior level of administrative support and service that clients will pay well for. Doing every little thing is keeping you small and under-earning.

Most of the people who come to me for help in our industry are those who fell for the BS of doing anything and everything only to realize later just how much it is keeping them from being able to develop their business, from making more money, from having time for a life, and from having a business and clients that actually make them happy.

Sometimes there’s a bit of “savior complex” rooted in this notion, which also isn’t good for you or your business (or ultimately your clients).

Sometimes it’s a lack of professional self-esteem (which is, again, common in people who are new in business). They don’t yet have a sense of confidence in their value and think they need to “prove” their worth by offering to do anything and everything.

Most of the time, though, the folks trying to do anything and everything are those who have not chosen a target market (which is simply a field/industry/profession you cater your administrative support to).

That’s how the cycle starts.

When you don’t know who you are talking to, it’s difficult to find a direction and form a clear idea of specifically what you do and how you help.

That’s because having no clear idea of who you are talking to forces you to think in a manner that is too broad, vague, and generic.

And so they end up offering anything and everything they can think of that might be of value to someone, somewhere (anyone? pretty please?).

What ends up happening, though, is you become a garbage disposal that clients toss any old thing at, making up their own rules and expectations in your business in the process.

This is what Seth Godin calls being a “meandering generality instead of a meaningful specific.”

When you get specific about who you work with (i.e., target market), you’ll be able to more quickly, clearly, and specifically identify exactly what you do and don’t do that helps clients.

(HINT: And that’s NOT everything and the kitchen sink.)

Here’s an example of avoiding the constant busy-ness of certain work that keeps you from really developing your business into a more powerful revenue and freedom-generating machine.

I’ve long advocated that colleagues never manage any client’s email in-box:

  1. You are not their personal, on-call employee/assistant. (What, do they need you to wipe their ass for them when they go to the bathroom, too? Look, there are just some things that grown-ups need to do themselves. You didn’t go into business to be someone’s lackey, did you? You can get a job for that. Just say no to work like that. It’s not the kind of thing you need to be doing in business.)
  2. You have enough of your own emails to manage to take on anyone else’s; and
  3. In-box management is drudge work that will keep you in the reeds on a daily basis, never able to get beyond the busy-ness to work on higher-value, big-picture stuff, both in your business and theirs.

This is a good example of “you don’t have to do everything to be of value” because even though in-box management isn’t something you do, the time you free up for clients by doing the other things you DO do allows them to better manage their own in-boxes.

What you can do instead is share your tips, advice, and guidance with clients on how to better manage their own in-boxes.

You could do that by writing an ezine article and/or blog post, creating an info product for purchase, putting together an instructional video or DIY email training, or perhaps do a paid online class a couple times a year.

(And by the way, inviting people to sign up to your mailing list to get any one or all of these will help you grow your list and continue to keep in touch and nurture those relationships.)

Dealing with it like that, you are providing additional value without bogging yourself down in that kind of work.

You don’t have to do everything to be of value. Let that sink in.

(If you need help finally choosing a target market, get my free tool that helps walk you through the process.)

The Real Skinny on Being a Digital Nomad

The Real Skinny on Being a Digital Nomad

This is a REALLY good article on the “digital nomad” BS, that (once again) internet marketers are trying to cash in on in recent years on by preying on the fantasies of those living in La La Land.

And I say that as someone who is about to embark on some roadtripping where I will be a semi digital nomad, and also as someone who lived in Europe while continuing to run my business.

That shit was hard!

That is, since ours is an online business, it was relatively easy technologically, but difficult from a mental, logistical, and practical standpoint.

I work MUCH better running things from my home office in the U.S. where my regular set-up and all my stuff is located and I have a regular routine and things-in-place.

I wouldn’t trade the experience of living and working in Europe for the world, but I also wouldn’t advise anyone that it’s a good idea to try to escape your life under the misguided thinking that it’s going to solve whatever you are running from.

Let me tell you, it is not all it’s cracked up to be (no matter what kind of rainbows and puppy dog tail pictures the internet marketers try to paint).

Yes, there are lots of unique experiences you can have (maybe… depending on how intrepid you are).

But it can be very difficult trying to do ACTUAL WORK FOR REAL, ACTUAL CLIENTS on the road.

A lot of the work I see many of these so-called digital nomads doing is fluff (mixed with a lot of BS).

The article has what I consider to be a very realistic, no-nonsense list of what is needed for those who might be considering the “digital nomad” life (I even detest the term; so stupid).

I’m going to venture to say that most of us fare better in our lives and businesses when we have a home-base.

I will even say that for most people, you will have more chance of success in your business if you aren’t trying to start and grow it while being essentially home-less and without the structure and stability of a steady home-base.

And you don’t have to be a “digital nomad” to travel and have life experiences.

What might be better is to build a financially solvent and successful business with smart policies, procedures, and systems in place so that you CAN pick up and travel when the urge strikes you.

Ask any traveling business or salesperson. Living out of a suitcase and hotel room (no matter how adorable that AirBnB may be) gets real old and real inconvenient fairly quickly.

Instead, think about having the best of both worlds by setting up your business smartly and profitably so that you can live and travel when and where you fancy while always having a home and community to come back to.

Have you ever thought about living and working on the road? What would be the pros and cons for you?

Why Being a “One-Stop Shop” Is BS

Why Being a "One-Stop Shop" Is BS

I think the idea that very commonly travels around our circles that we should be “one-stop” shops is dangerous.

Dangerous in that it sets you up for failure and mediocrity.

Dangerous because it’s rooted in employee mindset.

Dangerous because it stems from an underlying lack of healthy professional self-esteem that who you are and what you do is ENOUGH.

And dangerous because it teaches clients and others to devalue the expertise you ARE in business to provide.

It is ENOUGH to be in one business, not a million different businesses at once (i.e., administrative support… not administrative support AND web design AND graphic design AND bookkeeping AND marketing AND social media AND writing/copywriting, and any and every other hat you can find to put on).

That BS is something employers pulled on their admin staff because they could get away with it (i.e., dumping every kind of work and role onto them beyond their job description without any promotion in title or pay).

You don’t need to carry that wrong and negative influence over into your business. And you shouldn’t.

Because you are not a human garbage dump.

Because business and employment are not the same thing.

And because running your business and working with clients as if you were still an employee keeps your business from really flourishing.

It is ENOUGH to keep your eye on your one focus and discipline.

In that way, you beat mediocrity and can be the very best you can be at the particular thing you are in business to do.

Trying to diversify and be all the things to every body keeps you unfocused and dilutes the time and energy needed to do any one thing particularly well.

People who specialize in mediocrity don’t make the big bucks, are tired and scattered all the time, and never gain traction in their businesses.

You DON’T have to solve ALL problems for clients. You only have to solve the problem your business is set up to solve.

You DON’T have to be all things to every body.

Freelancing IS Running Your Own Business

See, it’s phrasing like this that is troublesome:

“If you have previous experience freelancing or running your own business…”

Freelancing IS running your own business. It’s not an or; it’s the same thing.

Phrasing like that makes people think it’s something different and separate, which is incorrect.

That’s why we have so many people in the industry who don’t realize that they are not employees, that they are running their own business, that it IS up to them to set the contracts and dictate the rules, etc.

It’s also why you should never use the term “freelancer.” Because it gives everyone the wrong idea all the way around.

How Can They Have It So Wrong?

It’s astounding to me that there is an entire organization based wholly on a misunderstanding of the law.

While Freelancer’s Union has its heart in the right place, they are utterly wrong about its most basic premise.

Freelancers are not part of the workforce. Freelancers are not “workers.” Freelancers, by definition of law, are self-employed BUSINESS OWNERS.

With articles like this, Freelancers Union is actually perpetuating the idea to employers to continue to disregard and abuse employment laws.

People who are “self-employed” are just that: self-employed. They are not employees or “workers” nor part of the “workforce.” (Those are terms of employment, not business, and have no place in a business-to-business context.)

They are running their own business providing a service. And when you are running your own business, it is up to you — and only you — to provide your own agreements and determine and dictate when, where and how you work, what you charge and everything else that goes along with being self-employed.

If you’re going to combat the problem, THIS is the education you need to be having with the self-employed who don’t understand these legal distinctions.

Freelancers Union could do more good by abolishing the idiotic word “freelancer” because it does nothing to educate the self-employed about their role as a business owner and how to run their business like a business and not work with clients like an employee.

That right there is responsible for nearly 100% of their nonpayment problems. As it is, all they are doing is creating more victims.

There Is No Place in this World for Hatemongering Racist Terrorists

There Is No Place In This World for Hatemongering Racist Terrorists

What is happening in our country right now is something we cannot sit idly by and watch happen. Those who are silent are complicit. I want everyone to know where I stand on this issue.

Nazis and the virulent hate and racism they spread are not welcome in our country (or in my group).

There is no place for you here, and regardless of the dimwit and his equally nitwitted, racist cohorts we have in office right now, we will stand united against you.

Our predecessors did not give their lives fighting Hitler and white racism for this to be tolerated in any way, shape or form now.

Please take a moment to read this article over on Lifehacker from Lauren O’Neal of Activism for Non-Activists. If you want to take action and be part of the solution, but are at a loss as to what to do, it has some very good ideas:

Six Things You Can Do in the Wake of the White Supremacist Attacks in Charlottesville

ADDENDUM 8/16:

It’s been very heartening to hear from people who feel the same since I posted this originally on my Facebook business page.

It’s hard to know what to do in these situations. We catch SO much flak from people if we get the least bit “political” or controversial or take a stand on important matters. (Although, to be clear, I don’t consider this political whatsoever. This is about fundamental right and wrong and I will ALWAYS stand and speak for what is good and right and loving in this world.)

People at large want to keep you vanilla. And they can be vicious in their attacks against you when you say something that is contrary to what they believe. It takes a lot of strength to go against that and do and say and stand for what you believe anyway in the face of that. I’m also dealing with a sick and aging parent that zaps all my energy these days. There’s not much left to help brace me against the vicious hyenas I often have to deal with. But this is too important. I can’t in good conscience NOT say anything.

It’s time for all of us to take a stand and declare what side of history we’re on and to SPEAK AGAINST and CONDEMN the despicable, ugly actions and hatred being perpetrated by white supremacists. We cannot let history repeat itself or allow this country to go backwards.

This is OUR country, all of us of every color and creed. We cannot allow racist hatemongers to destroy it.

#RESIST

Be Your Own Superhero

There’s nothing “kickass” about being a “sidekick.”

Women with real moxie proudly claim their role as administrative expert and capable leader of their own business.

You’re not the hired help. You’re an expert clients turn to for your administrative expertise and guidance.

Remember What You Are Trying to Accomplish

Remember What You Are Trying to Accomplish

It’s useful to interact with colleagues: to support each other, share triumphs and foibles, get ideas, collaborate, and find resources.

Remember, though, that you’re trying to build a business, not belong to a club.

It’s not helpful to your business or your potential clients to look and sound the same as everyone else.

Your business needs you to express your individuality, your own thoughts and ideas, in your own unique way of speaking.

It’s one of the easiest ways to differentiate your business and make it stand out in the crowd.

You become much more interesting and compelling to your site visitors in this way.