Who Said Positive Change Would Necessarily Be Quick and Easy?

Who Said Positive Change Would Necessarily Be Quick and Easy?

Hello, peeps!

No, I haven’t fallen off the planet, lol.

I’m still dealing with the transition of moving into my dad’s house temporarily and getting things sorted and running again. Plus, I had to move during a heatwave. Thank gawd that is over! But there is soooo much work to do. Oy.

I’ve been here since August 1. My plan is to spend the next 3-5 months getting it cleaned up and put back in order in the hope that there might be some possibility at some point that he could return home and spend his remaining years in his own house with live-in care.

If you are new here, my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s about 10 years ago and Lewy Body dementia about four years ago. His health and ability to care for himself and his house took a nosedive in 2014, and he is currently living in an adult care home.

My lease was up at the end of July, and I was seriously in need of some change in my life. It all worked out perfectly for me to not only do this for my dad, but also take my time in finding my next ideal home. I’m currently checking out houseboats (I might even have a custom one built!) and will be doing a little roadtripping in the meantime.

As I get settled in, I am reflecting on the idea that change — even if it’s a positive change — is often painful.

I am someone who tends to zap tolerations very quickly.

I am all about ease, and whenever and wherever I can make things easy (or at least easier) for myself, for my clients, for others, that is exactly what I do.

I front-load work and get the hard stuff out of the way first because it makes things simpler, faster, smoother and/or less difficult/problematic down the road.

And because I am normally really good at making things easy, I sometimes have to be reminded that not every positive change can be made as easily or quickly as I would prefer. There is going to be some “creative destruction” that can be messy and take longer than I would like.

This moving/dislocation process has been a bit traumatic. While being a very positive step towards some much-needed change in my own life, it’s not easy.

I don’t like being in transition, even though I am moving step by step toward a more ideal situation in my life.

My routines are all disrupted and I feel out of sorts. I don’t like the feeling of being in a “temporary” state. I like being settled and everything in their place.

Going through this made me think of a colleague I’ve been chatting with who also started making steps toward some positive change in her business she was desperately ready for and in need of.

Two thirds of her clients took the new standards she was implementing in her business in stride (this is very common, many colleagues are surprised to find).

One is highly resistant and being difficult about it (also very common, and also indicative of a relationship that might need to be severed in order to make way for a more ideal client to fill that spot on her roster).

The reminder is this:

Positive change can be messy and take time. We might lose some things along the way. But the alternative is inertia and living in a rut. And that’s definitely not ideal.

So have faith that even though the process might be tough, might be daunting, might be painful, it is so well worth taking those steps in a more positive direction so that you can love your life, your business, and your clients.

(PS: Wondering what a standing toilet paper holder has to do with this post? It’s an example of zapping tolerations. The bathroom off my dad’s master bedroom is a full bath, but it’s v-e-r-y small, and the toilet paper holder in the wall next to the toilet is extremely awkward to get to. It’s really annoying to wake up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and have to twist yourself into a pretzel reaching backward and blindly feel around for the toilet paper. Oh, no, this is not a nagging annoyance that should be tolerated for one minute! Barring hiring a contractor to fix the problem, I discovered free-standing toilet paper holders in the meantime. Life-changing, lol! At least that one was a quick and easy fix even if other positive changes aren’t.)

Are you looking to make some positive changes in your life and/or business? What kind of obstacles (mental or otherwise) are keeping you from taking action?

I could sure use some conversation with colleagues. Leave me a comment and we can explore and brainstorm! 🙂

5 Responses

  1. Self-doubt often makes a change so much harder. Even when you have individuals who accept it, one negative comment can make you second guess yourself. Many business changes take some time to adapt to for you and your clients. When I feel like I’ve made 10 steps forward the next day I feel as if I’ve taken 15 steps back.

    I’ve been wondering why some change is so difficult. Specifically, as I provide my clients with new guidelines, it made me think about why some may welcome it while others don’t. I realized that it was because there are some clients whom I have daily interaction with and that my new guidelines didn’t work with how we presently engage. I overlooked that. So now instead of tolerating I need to find the solution – disengage or make concessions that will work for them and me. #toiletpaperholder

  2. That’s an excellent point, LaToya, and another reason change can be so difficult — the second-guessing and uncertainty.

    When it comes to existing clients, especially if they’ve been spoiled in unsustainable ways, change can be like pulling teeth. If you need to keep them (because let’s face it, income is a practicable consideration that we can’t ignore), one way to deal with them is through baby steps and small, incremental changes. Too much and too big all at once and it can feel like you are pulling the rug up from underneath them.

    Always be bringing new clients on at your new and improved standards and processes, though.

    The second-guessing is something that falls in the “get comfortable with discomfort” category. Change is messy and imperfect and a lot of it requires us to go into uncharted territory where we feel unsure of ourselves. That is okay! Expect it and trust yourself in spite of those feelings!

    You know what is best for YOU and your business, and it is imperative if you are going to be happy and financially successful that your business work for YOU first before you can truly be of service to clients. When it’s all about them and your needs are not being met — that is not a true partnership or business relationship. Business is only business when you are both getting what you need.

  3. The words “it’s a process” have never been more true.

  4. Shelley says:

    Hi Danielle

    Thanks for sharing your experiences of change. I’m having a rough patch of it too at the moment, but I wanted to tell you something, besides that.

    Last year my role was made redundant. Well, I didn’t deal with it quite as gracefully as I would have liked (read: red wine), but as I was nearing the end of my job and wondering what I was going to do, I happened to type the right question into google and found your blog.

    I didn’t know if it was even possible to do what you do, but I had a very vague idea that I wanted to work from home using my admin skills. So finding your blog was a huge boost and inspiration, and I left my permanent role on a high note.

    Needless to say, I’m still working toward that goal, but I’m closer than I have ever been before. I have my own ABN, a little freelance work and some casual employment. I think next I need to get serious about what I’m actually going to offer.

    I’m a real perfectionist, but I just realised that if I wait until I’m an expert at something, I might never get started with my own business.

    Anyway, thank you for sharing about your Dad and your move.

    Shelley
    (Australia)

  5. Hi Shelley 🙂

    Very nice to hear from you. Sorry about your job being made redundant. Having the rug pulled out from under us like that is never an easy transition.

    I’m glad you found us and hope the information helps as you explore your opportunities. I’m on a bit of a hiatus at the moment as I try to get my dad’s house in order, but feel free to join us on the Facebook page as well in the meantime: https://www.facebook.com/AdministrativeConsultantsAssociation

    You can ask questions there as well as on my blog here: http://www.administrativeconsultantsassoc.com/blog/ask-danielle/

    All my best!

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